Andrew Swan is a languid left-arm seamer in the finest mould of Wasim Akram, James Franklin or Ryan Sidebottom. Only not quite as good. He's also a very adept fielder, who's always ably assisted by his dog, Pip. Pip lies in the outfield until the ball comes along and hits him. Pip remains in the same place looking at the ball with disdain until a fielder collects it, having prevented a boundary. Sadly, a recent rule change introduced by the MCC means that Pip now counts as an obstruction in the outfield and five penalty runs are awarded in the event of dog contacting ball. Fortunately, Pip never shows much interest in chasing the ball and so penalties are kept to a minimum.

Andrew's cricketing hero is Merv 'The Perv' Hughes; an unlikely hero with his big mo and the fact that Merv's about as Australian as you can get. Andrew likes to follow in his hero's footsteps at every available opportunity and is currently growing a Merv Hughes mo in honour of his hero and is looking forward to copping as much abuse from the crowds as Mervin used to do in his heyday.